Secrets- They can be expressed to share your deepest love for someone or used to hide your deepest hurts.
Once exposed secrets have a way of showing us and the world what we have really thought of ourselves.
As a now twenty-seven year old I have been on both sides of the secret coin. From hiding away my secrets in shame to sharing my most intimate thoughts, I have both loved and hated my secrets throughout my life. Secrets shared in friendship have caused my relationships to build moment by moment and secrets kept in shame in attempt to hide myself have caused those same relationships to fall apart instantly.
I have realized that secrets are a lot like gasoline: they can be used to help get your relationships to the next place or used to help completely burn up anything you have built.
However we use them secrets are essential nonetheless.
There is a moment captured in the Bible of one of Jesus’ last teaching moments with His twelve disciples. Jesus is about to go to the cross and He tells His disciples
“ I no longer call you servants, Because a servant doesn’t know his masters business(or what His master is doing), but I have called you friends. For I have revealed to you EVERYTHING I have heard from my Father. “
Have you ever wondered what the communication is like between Jesus and His Father? I believe Jesus and the Father to be the best definition of what a healthy friendship looks like, so you know there were secrets shared. There’s a reason Jesus calls our time alone with the Father the “secret place” because that’s where the secrets are shared, heart to heart and face to face. Jesus is revealing to His disciples that what belongs to them is the most intimate of the knowledge He possesses, the secrets between His Father and Himself. Jesus is showing them that the way to healthy, vibrant and beautiful expression of relationship is through sharing the most intimate of secrets. AKA- BE COMPLETELY VULNERABLE. It is normal to go around thinking that secrets are shared when both parties understand they are friends with one another, but Jesus has revealed to me that secrets aren’t just shared between friends but are shared to bring awareness to a friendship that’s otherwise unknown.
The disciples had obviously seen themselves as Jesus’ servants, for they had called Him Rabbi and master throughout their time together. But Jesus lets them know that He didn’t share secrets to show them what they already knew, but rather what they didn’t know- they were friends.
Jesus has shown me that secrets are not things to be used to cover myself up but rather secrets are avenues to a beautiful paradise of healthy, vibrant and beautiful expression of relationships!
I remember hearing the phrase as I was growing up...” secrets don’t make friends...” and the reply was always “ well friends make secrets!”
It is definitely true that keeping secrets hidden out of fear does not create good friendships. However it is also true that there will be secrets shared amongst friends.
I can say that as I’ve spent time alone with Jesus’ Father, my Father(Our Father) that I’ve began to experience secrets of His heart.
Just as Jesus told His disciples “...a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing...” Jesus has shown me that if I look close enough I can see that He’s always showing me what He is doing, and what what He is doing reveals who He is. I am super stoked because I can be confident He will keep doing that. Why? Because He is my friend and secrets shared grows friendships.
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